Creating a great relationship can be one of the most fun and exhilarating experiences you will ever go through, but getting there is the hard part. A new relationship or love interest can bring up a lot of stuff within us, such as the discomfort of not knowing whether or not the relationship will work out. It's the anticipation of whether he is into you, or if you are actually attracted to him.



The disappointment that comes after the initial excitement phase ensures that the relationship will actually cool off and get boring. The fact that all your sisters, friends and neighbors are all married and shouting at the kids makes "happily ever after" look like a distant fantasy. So, of course you struggle with, "why do I only attract the guy I don't want and never the guy I do want?" There are many obstacles to overcome in order to find "The One."


Here are four reasons you are keeping the guy you want at a distance:

1. Your belief in love is deflated
Focusing on all the obstacles and what might happen will absolutely leave you feeling deflated and overwhelmed. All that thinking can leave you exhausted and thinking love is impossible—going from being asked out, to the first date, from girlfriend to meeting the parents, a life tragedy to marriage. So, in order not to disappoint yourself, you might decide it would be easier to give up or not put yourself wholeheartedly into the mix.

2. You fail to go after what you really want
When you believe that love is impossible and the mountain is too high, you will fail to go after what you really want. You are afraid that you might actually be happy and that love might work out for you. Out of fear and out of playing it safe, you go out with the man who is into you. If you go out with the man who is into you, then there is no risk; you are in control of the outcome.

If you go after what you want, there is risk involved—the risk of being heartbroken, left alone, or the risk of being happy. The risk is worth it. After all, the benefits far outweigh the risk of settling, so why not go all in?

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