I have been married for a year and a half. My husband is the most amazing person one can ever meet. He is intelligent, funny, very handsome, knows me on the inside out, and he is the only person who can make me feel on top of the world after a 5 min conversation. He is truly my best friend. Our sex life is great; he makes me very comfortable in bed, something I never had with any other guy. Plus we both take a lot of pleasure in giving, so we both love seeing the other person happy. However I have a lot of issues, I am very self conscious, and always felt like I wasn't good enough for any guy. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to my weight and looks, and I care too much what people think. Plus I have had a lot of bad "relationships" with guys before my husband that really ruined my opinion about man and trust. When I was getting married I had a bad feeling that I might cheat. It had nothing to do with my feelings for my husband; it has more to do with my internal feelings about myself. I was offered to travel for work for 6 months. It was an amazing opportunity for my career and my husband was very supportive of it, since for a while I have been very unhappy with work. I have accepted the assignment, however it only added on to the feeling on cheating. There were about 6 of us who traveled for this assignment. I was the only one from US, people were from different countries. Majority of the people in the group were in relationships/ married.  One night we all went out and got very drunk, in no point in time did I feel like I was flirting with one of the guys or leading him on. Since the whole time he was talking how much in love he is with his girlfriend, who he has been with for 10 years, and she was truly the only thing he talked about majority of the night. He ended up making a move on me, which at times I feel like maybe it was my fault, but I am very naïve when it comes to such signs, due to the fact that I am so self conscious when it comes to my looks.  When he made a move I wasn't very firm at rejecting him. I didn't stop it right away, and then all I said that I was very tiered, and just wanted to sleep. Which in a way it was my way of not letting it to continue any further, but I know that in his eyes it probably didn't seem that way. For the next week I was very anxious about what happened, at times I felt like I should have just let it happen, and that it wasn't that big of a deal, but then I kept thinking how much it will hurt my husband.  I saw my husband a week latter and I felt like being next to him brought my perspective back on track and I didn't think about what happened as much.  When I got back from seeing my husband, 2 days later, the group was planning to meet up again, however it ended up being just the two of us. We weren't awkward with each other, and were not bringing up what happened at all. But ones we had a lot of alcohol in our system things started getting very weird, he started telling me a lot of personal stuff and how he was very happy that I am here. I mean part of me feels like he was feeding me a lot of bs, but I was pretty drunk to pay attention at the moment. When we left the bar, I had a feeling the night won't end up good. I asked him about the other night, and why did he make a move on me, and weather I was leading him on. He told me he wasn't the one who started it. When I asked what he meant by it, he didn't reply. I asked him what kind of a drunk he is, and he answered horny.  I went over to his place, which I know was a strike on my part, but I kept telling myself that he has two bedrooms, and I ll just sleep in the other bedroom, since my apartment was on the other side of town. When I came over it was clear to me that we will hook up. I asked him if he does this all the time, since he has a girlfriend, and he said no that it was first time, when I asked him why, he didn't answer. We started making out but I stopped it before it got too far. I told him I can't do this because if I do this I will have to get a divorce and I can't get a divorce. What I meant by it is that I will never be able to trust myself again therefore I won't be able to put my husband through something like this, but it might have not come out the right way. After that he said that he is very embarrassed and I went to the spare bedroom, spend the night and left the next morning without really saying a word to each other.  We have been professional at work, but inside I can't stop thinking about what happened, and part of me wants it to happen again. I am a strong believer that once a cheater, always a cheater, but I don't know if I want to put myself into that category. Do you think I am cheater or do you think it is all alcohol and deep down inside I would never do this again?

When a certain thing happens is always a combination of factors in this case I can see many factors lead to your situation such as Lack of discipline, alcohol,  deviation from expected line of conversation, bad previous experience with guys, too closeness with the guy and probably lack of constant communication with your husband when you traveled among others.

Do you need members' advice on solution to get out of this situation? or
just wants to know if you're a cheater? If you want to know only whether you're cheater or not, I will say because you indicated that "deep down inside you would never do this again" I say you're not a cheater, but carelessly cheated your husband.

Thank you. I would love to hear a solution of this problem, and how I can get myself out of this situation. Plus I dont think I want to tell my husband about what happened,  but I dont know if thats wrong.

In looking for solution it has two phases.
Phase 1.
You mentioned "I am very self conscious, and always felt like I wasn't good enough for any guy. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to my weight and looks, and I care too much what people think. Plus I have had a lot of bad "relationships" with guys before my husband that really ruined my opinion about man and trust. When I was getting married I had a bad feeling that I might cheat."
In this I think you should look for a good psychologist and marriage/family therapist in your state to help you on this.

Phase 2
You have started already in solution part by coming out to write about the incident meaning you regretted it, isn't something you would like to get involve in again. 2. You indicated that deep inside you would never do this again"  
Stick to it.
Try your best (through management personnel) that you and the guy aren't put together to do any job assignment again.
Don't take alcohol when out, only take it when with your husband alone or at home.
Whenever you and your  husband are out of each others view,  make it a habit to always communicate to each other at least two times daily (always engage your self with creative words to say to him and he will do the same) this will make you to always think of him not any other man/guy.

I could sense element of guilty feelings here,  to solve this If you're a catholic there is a room to you to go for confession, after this any associated feelings will go if  you're not a catholic, use the psychologist and marriage/family therapist expertise as I mentioned above.

Concerning telling your husband, depends on his temperament as most men won't forgive and forget this. So is better to play safe.

This is a very strange thing to do. I hope you learned a lesson and will not consider doing.

Virtually every body is prone to cheating what matters is how discipline one is.