Author Topic: Love or Infatuation! (Read 14026 times)

abitex577 · « **on:** »

Being in love is a good feeling and loving someone and that someone loves you back is one of the greatest gifts of God, now how do you know it is love? Where does infatuation end and when did love start? If you have been in a relationship, can we have your candid opinion?

Cokoye · « **on:** »

Webm · « **Reply #1 on:** »

This is an interesting question Abitex, you see, this is one such hard questions to answer in my opinion. But I think that infatuation(Love at first sight) normally takes place first before the real love develops along the line.

Cokoye · « **Reply #1 on:** »

Gloria Girl · « **Reply #2 on:** »

Infatuation ends when a man stop looking at physical things: like body, looks, feels, beauty etc, and love starts when I man looks at future, character and in being of the woman.

Cokoye · « **Reply #2 on:** »

Dqueen · « **Reply #3 on:** »

That's complex. To some, love is all these things together. no wonder we come across people saying things like "I love my wife, she is the most beautiful person in the world". sometimes looks are not important, love grows slowly from knowing and understanding someone. I think someone once said love is elusive. It is many different things to many different people, and it can be pain and joy at the same time.

that's just my humble opinion.

abitex577 · « **Reply #4 on:** »

@webmaster, I totally agree with you, of a truth when we meet someone and instantly get connected (chemistry) to that person, it is not love but infatuation, I call it impulse of love, this kind could be said to be blind cos you hardly know anything about the person, now when you get to know each other gradually love develops or sets in, that is why love is not blind. One can only love what you know, you cant love what you dont know. A lot of fellas fall over heels in love with people they have not met but talked on phone, or chat on the net with, why cos when you know about the persons way of thought through chats and calls, you know a bit of the person and can also fall in love.

Cokoye · « **Reply #4 on:** »

Mature · « **Reply #5 on:** »

Infatuation is a task for anybody who wants to enter into relationship to identify and avoid as it has deceived so many into relationship where they think they are in love.
It often ends with sad experience. That is why whenever I hear about broken heart i know is infatuation that was powering the relationship not Love as the couple portrays.
Love can only take place gradually by both parties becoming friends first before stepping up the relationship.

Dqueen · « **Reply #6 on:** »

I think you have said some interesting stuff abitex577. love is always an interesting topic. often too controversial. I will quote you below, and respond to some of the points you have made.

quote "I totally agree with you, of a truth when we meet someone and instantly get connected (chemistry) to that person, it is not love but infatuation,"

maybe. maybe not. ever heard someone saying "when our eyes met the first time, we felt like our souls were talking to each other, now we have been together for 20years"? the point I am trying to make is, love is too abstract for us to make general rules about what it is, how it is felt and when.

quote: "One can only love what you know, you cant love what you dont know."

I would say not always. We love Allah/God/Jesus/Mohammed but do we really know him? We love the 'imagination' of what we think he is. I suppose it's the same explanation for why we fall in love with someone we have never set eyes on, but only heard talking on the phone (mind you the phone does something to our voices, which tends to make them more attractive than they really are sometimes :-)) so we think we love the other partner at the end of the line until we have met him/her and realised, what a world far from ours they live in. my view is that love can be spontaneous, not meaning that it's infatuation.

it may be true that the less you know someone the more you love him or her or the less you know someone the less you love him or her...but still you love the person. or are you simply infatuated? sometimes it's hard to draw the lines. I am not saying though, that there is no infatuation, I am simply debating classifying quickly felt emotions as infatuation. they may not always be such thing.

Dqueen · « **Reply #7 on:** »

hmmm...looks like I am a passionate debater on this subject called love, LOL!

Perfect · « **Reply #8 on:** »

Dqueen all women a passionate debater on the subject called love so I understand and you are no exception.
@topic
Infatuation Vs Love is a serious and confusing subject, because all the battles and activities basically take place in the mind of the parties involve which each party tends to interpret to physical actions.
But the challenge here is that often we don't fully or realistically translate the really activities in our mind because some factors. Eg Fear, wrong move etc

abitex577 · « **Reply #9 on:** »

"maybe. maybe not. ever heard someone saying "when our eyes met the first time, we felt like our souls were talking to each other, now we have been together for 20years"? the point I am trying to make is, love is too abstract for us to make general rules about what it is, how it is felt and when".

@Dqueen, Like I said, infatuation is the impulse of love..what gets you started in a relationship is infatuation, call it whatever, it could translate to love or hate as the relationship blossoms, that is why some persons still break up after such initial euphoria while others get to know each other better and grow fonder of each other and continue for 20, 30, 40 years.
To help us understand better if we are truely in love we have to understand the character of love:
1.Patience, spouses who are in love never hurry you into changing your personality.
2. They will be KIND to you always
3. They dont ENVY with rage (Jealous) when the opposite sex comes arround you.
4. Love is not PRIDE
5. Love doesn't behave unseemingly
6. Not easily PROVOKED
7. Believes in you, even in your failures.

You'll agree with me that at the beginning of most relationships most of these characters are lacking. Simply put TIME is the factor that tells you if you are truely in love or someone loves you.

Dqueen · « **Reply #10 on:** »

our parents for example 'love' us. are they always 'kind', and do they always 'believe' us, even in our 'failures'? the point I'm trying to make is that love is elusive and perhaps even contextual. however, if for you love is all those things that you have mentioned, then that's love for you:-) this is an interesting debate abitex577.

abitex577 · « **Reply #11 on:** »

@Dqueen, quite interesting, obviously our parents always in all respect love us and want us to be the best in life even thought their actions and thoughs may also be with limited knowledge. I agree it may be elusive but if we know its character it will be easier to know when one is in love.

Perfect · « **Reply #12 on:** »

We should understand that Love and infatuation co exist in relationship no matter our intellectual sophistication to omit or deny it, because is like light that paves way for real love to develop which often takes time to mature. So there should be something like Love and Infatuation as the both are just part of the system that runs relationship.

abitex577 · « **Reply #13 on:** »

These thoughts are great!!!

Perfect · « **Reply #14 on:** »

You are welcome Abitex, we have to think when it comes to issue that affect and relate to our day to day life. Infatuation and love have really caused a lot of trouble and challenge to our lives and worth paying attention. We have been victim of them one time or the other, don't you think so?

Cokoye · « **Reply #14 on:** »

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Author Topic: Love or Infatuation! (Read 14026 times)

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