Author Topic: Wants to marry, but his situation is complicated (Read 9144 times)

Perfect · « **on:** »

A friend had a lady he was in serious relationship with, the lady latter travelled abroad .
After some period of time this friend found a girl and fall in Love with her, the girl in question is in two hundred level in high institution in Enugu south east Nigeria, while the guy is in Lagos.
He latter further his intention by meeting the parent of the girl and ask her hands in marriage which two parent agreed and traditional marriage was carried out.
The guy ask the girl to stop school and let her start everything in Lagos as the east is far, but the girl insisted she must finish her school in Enugu before going to Lagos. Initially this our guy didn’t take offence but it got to a stage he got tired of the whole stuff(because he is always goes to friends house to eat).
He complains “ I am married still can’t have my wife cook for me, two, I still see my self moving with another woman and other things I shouldn’t have been doing if my wife is here, what type of life is this?”.
Ok now the weeding Card has been printed the weeding are to take place soon.
But the truth of the matter now is that he lose confidence in her, he argues why did he told his wife what to do she insisted on her opinion and how long would he has to wait for a Law student to complete her study.
While we are at it the formal lady just arrived the Country and financially rich. The lady headed over to our guy house been her man before she left, and handed over to this our guy two key cars (One Sport car and Infinite Jeep) . As I am writing now the two cars are packed at our friend’s house.
We went out together last Sunday with his private car, We found out is not being him self at a point he has to leave us. Making our outing unpleasant one because we have to board commercial bus to our various houses, Imagine the nonsense?.
Now our guy is confused which way to go, is it this very nice, gently and rich lady (this lady is more appearing to him now) or this very stubborn, retarded girl he has done her tradition weeding.
Please forum members which advice do you have for this fellow? This is serious

Cokoye · « **on:** »

Webm · « **Reply #1 on:** »

This is really some how complicated if the traditional marriage has not been carry out I would have suggested that he just marry the lady that returned from abroad. Well, let him just go ahead with his wife to be and tell the old lady the truth although is not going to be easy.

Cokoye · « **Reply #1 on:** »

Perfect · « **Reply #2 on:** »

Justme what you said is one side of it. The truth is the guy has loss interest in the girl because of her attitude towards him.
Also remember that this lady that returned from abroad not only rich but good lady and has been so nice to this guy.

Cokoye · « **Reply #2 on:** »

Kodo · « **Reply #3 on:** »

I could understand dilemma in this scenario. Let him just make his finally decision by just taken one, there is no way he can't offend some one at the end of the whole thing which is exactly what he was trying to avoid (I guessed)

Perfect · « **Reply #4 on:** »

Not just offending aspect of it.It goes beyond that which i belief he understand. The question now is if you are in his shoes what would you do?
Tell this lady which has done him no wrong to leave, ok, he is not all that comfortable to move with this very girl in school because of her attitude.
In short as I write now his Father constantly call him to know how far he has gone about up coming weeding preparation

Cokoye · « **Reply #4 on:** »

uju · « **Reply #5 on:** »

there is no complication about this, first, was there no courtship between both of them before the traditional marriage? the reason for courtship is to know each other better to see if they can leave together. atleast you would have known about her attitude before the traditional marriage took place cause you really went too far, secondly, was there no communication between you and the one abroad before she appeared back to ur life.
well, marriage is a life time something and you have to tread with care so as not to live a life of regrets except if you want to be a divorcy at the end of it all, follow your heart, no stringe attached, or sentiment. if you know that you can not live with the character of the one in school then you let her know immediately but the both of you must come to an agreement before letting both parents know about it and it has to be fast because the the white wedding is fast approaching.

Perfect · « **Reply #6 on:** »

Uju first welcome to forum. This is not really time to blame or point at what went wrong instead solution is needed.
To the best of my knowledge there is no courtship at all with the girl in school rather he has more long relationship with the lady that just arrive from abroad.

Kodo · « **Reply #7 on:** »

Quote from: uju on

....it has to be fast because the the white wedding is fast approaching.

That is one of the reasons the issue is seeing as dilemma, the weeding is fast approaching.

Perfect · « **Reply #8 on:** »

Quote from: me on

Quote from: uju on
....it has to be fast because the the white wedding is fast approaching.
That is one the reason the issue is seeing as dilemma, the weeding is fast approaching.

That is why help is needed in the first place.

Webm · « **Reply #9 on:** »

While this is going on let him enter into serious prayer because this is really important time to make decision, which will determine how is going to live his less of life.

Perfect · « **Reply #10 on:** »

That is exactly the reason the problem has to be posted on forum for people's opinion because two heads in better than one they said.

Webm · « **Reply #11 on:** »

Another queston is has this very guy ever told the girl how he felt about the whole situation at least telling her how she frustrates his live as a result of her decission and what did she say?

Perfect · « **Reply #12 on:** »

Quote from: justme on

Another queston is has this very guy ever told the girl how he felt about the whole situation at least telling her how she frustrates his live as a result of her decission and what did she say?

He has done so time without number but the girl insisted on finishing her study as earlier stated.

uju · « **Reply #13 on:** »

well, i can now understand the whole stories, as i said before.
invite the girl over, have a heart to heart discussion with her, this is a problem she have to face no matter how long it takes him, so it will be better for him to face it now come to a conclusion with the girl, let her know your mind, then you both should come to a conclusion on how to open up to both parents.
i know so many hearts will be broken but he just has to face it since his mind is no longer with the girl, love is not by force and besides the wedding is just around the corner, no much time please.
and lastly you really need to pray abt this whole thing so that God can see you through.

Webm · « **Reply #14 on:** »

Uju i think I am some how agree with your last post.

Cokoye · « **Reply #14 on:** »

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Author Topic: Wants to marry, but his situation is complicated (Read 9144 times)

Cokoye

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