When your  spouse  is  demanding  a  separation  or is pulling away , and you don't want it, there is a  discord .  There is  unpleasantness.  There is real stress .  I have  invented  the  theory of applying the push pull  strategy , where one  spouse  uses the  power,  force and  pressure of the other  spouse to their own advantage, and to the disadvantage of their partner . We cannot  achieve good  harmony  with our partner  as long as this  feuding is going on, as long as you communicate  to them that you want something different from what they want.  When the other  partner  is pulling away from you or wanting a  split or wanting to leave, they are almost  typically  on the opposite side of any fence that they perceive you as being on.  So use the push/pull.   Agree with them. Now, here are  a few ideas and strategies all under the  guise of the jujitsu technique.  1.  You need to  remember  to Stop pressuring, stop  complaining,  cease criticizing, just stop it and you will save your marriage!2.  Try agreeing with  whatever your spouse  wants  or does.  You see, when one  other half has a closed mind and is  leaving the other, they are in love with their negative feelings.  So they put their negative feelings in charge of the door to their mind.   Therefore  when you try to reason with them, you're  confirming to them that their negative feelings are wrong .  That causes their negative feelings to  slam  the door tighter.  You must try  to agree with your spouse's  negative feelings - whatever they may be.  "I agree, this  union  is hopeless. " "Yes I agree, you will  not be able to trust me.  That is exactly  correct. " You must  never defend yourself.   Always  agree,  act sincere, and  stay  quiet  and you may no longer have to say, please save my marriage. 3.  Try acting   quite  happy about everything.  Enjoy your  solitude.  Take advantage of your freedom.  Tell your  loved one  that they are  correct - Agree with them, and be happy about whatever it is that they  request .  This uses the push/pull technique , which  is effective .  But  ,  do not do this for a short  while and then  return  back over to your  regular  pressuring self.  Don't  do it, it  wont  work for you.  And don't do it early in a  heart to heart and then slip back to explaining yourself about what you  need  and why you did what you did.   Try consistency with this.  No pressure at all .  Of course, this does not mean  any contact.  If you are separated from your partner , you can call and say  hello, practice small  chat and happy talk.  Remember, the secret to this is, small talk, happy talk.  stop divorce